Cricket humor

Some light moments from the game Indians are mad about ….. don’t know whether these actually happened, but thought these are worth sharing:

1) Boycott was facing a torrid over from Micheal Holding . After playing his first 5 deliveries somehow, he got out bowled the last ball. When Boycott entered the dressing room, one of his teammates remarked something about the supposedly best test opener of his times.

Pat came Boycott’s reply: “If it wasn’t for Boycott, England would have been 0/6 by the end of that over”.

2) “Man, it don’t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero.” -Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983.

Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there would be less pressure!

3) Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb outswinger, and Thomas said “It’s red, round and weighs about 5 ? ounces.”

Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and replies, “Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it ! !”

4) Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row’s legs. Fred doesn’t say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly – “I should’ve kept my legs together, Fred”.
The reply is classic Trueman, “Not you son, Your mother should’ve ! ! ”

5) Then there’s this wicketkeeper who quietly asked the new batsman: “So how’s your wife, and my kids ? ?” Guess who………Rod Marsh….to Ian Botham!!

6) New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out “Well bowled Warnie !!”

7) Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable. ‘Ere, if you lads don’t back off, I’ll appeal for bad light !!”

8) (Incident described in “From the Pavilion End” by Harold “Dickie” Bird)
“Bomber” Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn’t bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton’s famous words describing an equally inept runner; “When he shouts ‘YES’ for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!”

Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton “He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time.” Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10.

During a county match, horror of horrors…….both got injured. Both opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had all four running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of “YES” “NO”, eventually, all of them ran to the same end.

Note: At this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out.

One of the fielders – brave lad – stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.

Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them “One of you buggers is out. I don’t know which. You decide and inform the bloody scorers !”

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