B-School job interview

Here is a humorous take on a B-School job interview (adapted from mails I received on job interviews):

1. Why did you apply for this job?
A. I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for our company?
A. I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don’t have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
A. You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if xyz …. happened?
A. Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation…

5. What is your biggest strength?
A. Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of that company

6.What is your biggest weakness?
A. Girls

7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
A. Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so joined the MBA program here.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
A. Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to do an MBA and change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. You mean you didn’t do any assignments?
A. I certainly did lots of them in my B-school.

10. Do you have any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?
A. Well, I have had three of my essays published in ABCDEFGH magazine

11. Certainly impressive, but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours.
A. Oh, that was during office hours

12. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
A. Biggest challenge is answering the question “why are you looking for a career shift now” and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

13. How would your previous boss describe you?
A. A person with a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on

14. Why did you leave your last job?
A. For the same reason why you left your earlier job

15. But you seem to have worked in so many companies before your MBA in a short span of time.
A. Please don’t mistake my 6 pre-MBA jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.

16. What do you want from this job?
A. No work should be given but keep giving good hikes

17. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
A. Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs

18. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
A. Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I’ve gone through your website

19. We are planning to pay you XYZ salary which a entry level B-School graduate usually gets. What is your reaction?
A. What?

20. Then what is the salary expected and how do justify that?
A. Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 60% extra than what I was getting prior to my MBA and that is unpublished industry standard (I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)

21. What? Are you kidding?
A. Who started it?