I statements

Do you want to have fewer fights at home or at work?

Notice what you start your statements with.

Do you start with “You”? “You” statements are like pointing a finger at the other person. And they feel like accusations or blame. No wonder they often get a reaction from the other person. They fuel arguments.

Ex: You are always on your phone. You do not have any time for me.

Do you start with “We”? “We” statements often make assumptions about what others do, think or feel. And they may not help much either.

Ex: We all think you spend too much time on your phone.

Do you start with “One”? “One” statements are unclear on who is being spoken about. You? Someone else?

Ex: One should not always keep looking at one’s phone.

Start with “I”. “I” statements help you speak from your experience. They help you put in words what you experience within. They increase the probability that the other person will hear you. They help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.

Ex: I feel unheard and not cared for when you keep looking at the phone.

Practice this with your statements.

Share this post if you think it may help someone.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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